Well hello there

Well I don't seem to have much time lately for writing here, and I don't know who actually reads this stuff anyway.  Oh, there are those who stumble across my blog in the course of doing a Google search, but not many others read here.  Not that I actually put up content for them to read!!!

So anyways.  Those kitchen cabinets did find their way to the garage, and have even finally been touched by the sander.  They're not quite ready to paint yet.  The major setback has been trying to decide what to do with the ceiling where the old wall came out.  The plaster guy was finally able to come in and fix it up so it looks more consistent the whole way across.  He's even agreed to come back and fix the living room ceiling too in another week.  Both will have the same look and will look almost new.  The sub-floor has been installed, in preparation for the ceramic tile that will one day grace the floor.  All the poor joint work has been repaired by the pros and I got it primered the other night.  My goal is to have it all repainted this weekend so there is no excuse not to move forward with the damn cabinets.  I even offered to paint them by hand if that's what it takes, but James insists it's best to use a paint gun.  Fine by me, I didn't really want to do it anyway.  I keep doing as much as I can to get the project moving again.  I don't know what the problem was, but nothing was getting done at all for a while there.

Meanwhile, I decided to update the girls' room and paint it.  They basically chose the colors, bright blue and green shades that are extremely bold for my home.  The rest of the house is very subdued colors so the kids room is a real shock at first glance.  I actually still have one wall to go in their room but had to get the furniture moved back in so I hauled ass getting all the parts done that needed to be done so the furniture could all go back where it belongs.  We've added new curtain panels to the windows and are in the middle of purchasing new bedding.  All in all it came out pretty well.  I'll update this with a picture once I have everything in place.

It's just us girls here this weekend.  I'm going to paint in the morning, and my granddaughters are coming for a visit tomorrow afternoon.  Then we are off to a birthday party at a local bowling/game center for a couple of hours, and back here for the evening.  I hope to sleep in a bit tomorrow morning just so I have the energy top get through the day!  It's been a rough week at work and it's not going to get much better anytime soon.  Everyone there seems to be on edge and worn out.  We could all do with a break; unfortunately kids don't stop getting sick while we stop to breathe.  We are transiting to electronic records so there is a lot of prep work to be done in advance.  We don't actually "go live" until October but there is so much that has to be done ahead of time that we were told we would need to get started six months before our "go live" date.  Personally, I'm excited about it all, so I hope my own enthusiasm will rub off on other people too.  The doctors seem to be happy that I am excited about it all and they are reluctantly beginning to do the initial abstracting of information so that we can make the transition as easy as possible.  I've had a few days' visit with another office that already uses the system just to get a feel for it all.  Of course, now that makes me the resident expert, and any questions anyone has are all directed at me, whether I know the answers or not.  I look at it as job security right now.  I'm not irreplaceable by any means, but I know I am a valuable player at least.

Not much else has happened around here.  Oh, except that Megan has gotten braces on her top teeth and has had an eye exam that resulted in us ordering glasses for her too.  Poor kid's falling apart!  She will get braces on the bottom teeth also, but not until about two months into treatment.  We have to move her upper teeth out enough to make room for braces to fit comfortably on the bottom.  She's adjusted quickly and doesn't seem to mind much at all.  She was very upset when she first got them on, because it made playing the flute difficult, but she has already adapted fairly well.  Her spring concert will be out of the way before she gets the lowers on so she'll have all summer to get used to playing with both sets on.  She's also quite excited to be getting her glasses.  She has had problems seeing in class and looks forward to a better view.  My own glasses are extremely outdated so I have an appointment coming up, and James will also be going in, likely getting glasses also.  Only Hannah has almost better than perfect vision.  At least one of us came out with good eyes!  Maybe I'll be able to get contacts this time, or corrective surgery - wouldn't that be cool?  I'm probably going to have carpal tunnel surgery later this year too.  I haven't decided how bad it is yet.  I sleep with a wrist brace, although it's very uncomfortable.  I wear it when the pain and numbness gets too bad, in hopes of making the problem go away.  But it just gets worse, and I may have to eat my words to the orthopedist that I certainly was not going to have surgery.  He did say at the time that I would probably eventually want the surgery.  I remember saying I wanted to avoid it, and he said "we'll see how long you last" with the brace.  I can already see why he said that, because it just keeps getting worse.  I have had this for years, really, but mildly up until recently.  Well, we will see what happens. 

And now I'm exhausted and need to get to bed.  toodles

I'm full of good intentions, just never seem to have much time lately.  But here I am, wide awake at 1:00am, so I'll just blog a little.

I had an appointment with an oral surgeon to have a couple of teeth out.  No big deal, wisdom teeth are ok to lose, they say.  But the pain killer put me to sleep earlier, and I had a nap, and now I'm oh so wide awake.  I need to be up at 6:00 so I'll have to try to sleep soon.  Newsflash:   UH OH.  My oldest daughter just joined me and announced that her stomach is somewhat upset.  Looks like things could get ugly around here.

I'm still promising myself that I'll sort through my pictures and put together a diary of the kitchen remodel.  Most of the cabinets are built and sitting in the kitchen.  They all need to go to the garage to be sanded and painted, but it's probably going to wait until after Christmas.  For now, they're set up in a way that we can make use of them for some things.  I insisted on getting the fridge back in here, and the old sink is still hooked up, as well as the stove.  There's talk of getting something set up with the sink so I can get a dishwasher installed too - wouldn't that make life easier?  My crappy old toaster oven and beat up microwave have joined the party too so we can almost function properly.  Judy says she has a toaster oven I can have if I want it, but I may just go get a new one anyway so I get what I want.  The microwave apparently came under attack or abuse sometime while it was out in the "kitchenette" because now it's hard to open the door on it.  Damn thing is probably at least 10 years old anyway so I guess it's due for replacement too.  Although it still works well......

My huge corner computer desk that was perfect in the unused dining room is no longer so perfect since a good portion of said dining room is now part of the kitchen.  (I don't think I've ever mentioned that the new kitchen is now 20 feet long by I-don't-know-how-wide.)  There was no longer room for it when the peninsula was dry-fitted so I have temporarily brought back my tiny desk from years gone by.  I've got a plan for what I can do to accommodate everything eventually.  It will involve building a new cabinet and installing the glass doors I saved from the old house, but it could be really beautiful.  Meanwhile, the big desk is up for sale on Craigslist.  I also cleaned out some of my accumulated excess technology and gave a lot of it away.  Some day I'll go upstairs and begin the daunting task of clearing out some of the stuff the girls have been hoarding for years.  I could probably have one hell of a yard sale!

Ah well, I think I may have rambled enough for tonight.  I need to check on Megan and haul my ass to bed.

toodles

Oh boy! Oh boy!  The fridge is in the kitchen!  I repeat, the fridge is IN the KITCHEN.  As are many of the cabinets, although they are just sitting there temporarily as a resting place.  They all have to go to the garage to be sanded and painted still, and then they can be installed properly.  But at least it's progressing.

Thanksgiving dinner was delicious, thanks to all the work to get enough kitchen installed to make it all possible.  The entire month of December is going to be busy so who knows when I'll get to do any updates here.  I'd like to try anyway, as I like to keep a record, of sorts.  Don't have time right now though, I need to get to the grocery store as soon as Hannah goes to school, then work later.

toodles

And almost 3 months later.....

Ah, it feels good to be back to normal!  I had a scare with the urologist, who pronounced my right kidney somewhat larger than the left when I did my follow up after the ultrasound.  He had me wait about 6 weeks and have another CT scan, which ultimately showed it's still ever so slightly bigger than the left.  We are just keeping up the wait and see approach and he's confident it's fine so I'm not worrying about it.  All this messin' around has put me so far behind in everything I do as a mom.  I will make it my goal to have things in this house as back to normal as I can make them by Christmas. 

The kitchen is, of course, still a work in progress.  I do have a stove hooked up so I can at least cook <almost> normally again, and I will be able to do a Thanksgiving dinner.  I have been taking pictures of the progress and will probably put some up here, in my photo blog.  Looking back at them, what strikes me immediately is that there are almost always dirty dishes in the sink!  I hate doing dishes and they seem to pile up quicker than I can get to them.  I did away with the portable dishwasher long ago when I didn't think it was doing a very good job.  I THOUGHT I could keep up with hand-washing the dishes.  I found out there are more important things on my mind a lot of the time and I don't get to dishes until a day or two goes by, usually.  I really am looking forward to having a dishwasher again, just to get out of washing dishes all the time.  It'd be nice if I could get a little help around here sometimes.  I work a full-time job too ya know.

The rest of it is just same shit, different day.  I continue to struggle with day to day life and the living of it.  I don't care about the house most of the time, but then a day comes along when I just can't stand the messes any more and I blow up on everyone.  The girls practically have to be bullied into cleaning up after themselves, and their father isn't much better.  Some days it's like I am the only one who sees the total wreck this place is.  I'm also the only one who knows and keeps track of where everyone needs to be at any given time.  I have the girls with me almost any time I leave the house (except for work, of course!) so I have no idea when I'll get to do some shopping for the holidays.  My marriage is still a struggle too.  I just can't seem to care any more.  It's been this way for a long time, but he just has never been able to see it and it takes a 2x4 to the face for him to notice anything is up.  It finally came down to a point where I just stopped feeling and stopped trying to fix it on my own.  I don't care anymore.  I would just as soon not bother with a man, especially one who takes my silence to mean everything is okey dokey.  As long as I'm not bitchin' everything is good, right?  Well of course not, but it seems that's how he's always looked at it and all that did was push me away until I really don't feel anymore.  So now it's more like we're friends, although he claims it's more than that.  I asked him to do one thing for me; if he truly wanted me to try to make it work, do this one thing for me.  It was a sacrifice, and one he's always claimed he could do if he wanted.  So I guess he didn't want to because he hasn't and we haven't talked about it again since last week.  We don't talk often about us unless he's had enough beer to get obnoxious.  Then he will start the whole argument over and keep rehashing the whole thing for hours (usually right about the time I finally feel like I can sleep) - although he always hits a point where he goes to bed and falls asleep, while I am now so wound up I'm up all night.  So now of course I'm cranky when I have to get up for work after almost no sleep, and by the time I get home from work it's not a good time to talk. 

Have I come right out and said what the problem is?  As Sarah P would say, you betcha.  Have I said you need to do this if you want me to try that?  Yup.  I don't see us fixing this, period.  We've been doing this for far too long now and nothing ever changes.  For years now, I've let the problems build until I blow and make a big fuss at him.  Then he does what he thinks I want him to do for a week, maybe two weeks.  And I decide it's not worth the energy to be mad so I drop it, and it starts the cycle over again.  Not anymore.  I will not make a fuss again, period.  If he takes that to mean life is all sunshine and happiness again, there's not much I can do about it.  I have to take care of myself and the stomach ulcer I think I've developed.

And I think I've brought my mood down sufficiently for today, so I need to stop now before I get worse and really start to rant!

toodles

Let's catch up!

So let's see, what's been happening?  Well, in terms of my health, things are on a solid upswing.  The scope I had done August 5th showed a buildup of scar tissue that the doc cleaned out.  He also found a polyp and removed it to be biopsied, then called me a few days later to let me know it was benign and I'm in good shape.  It took a few more days for me to feel "back to normal" but I finally do feel good again.  We're going to meet again in a couple of weeks so that I can report on my progress and then I should be done with the surgeon.  A major turning point in my attitude was getting the stent out.  I was out of sorts that day, but felt 100% better the next day and it made such a difference in how I was feeling.  I still have to go for a renal ultrasound and followup with the urologist but I'm sure things are flowing nicely and I'll be done with him too.  My gyne is probably not going to see me again.  I don't know what it is, but I'm just not comfortable with the man.  I'm considering going back to my old gyne, even though he doesn't participate with my insurance plan.  I will just pay for my visits since I only need to see him once a year to get a mammogram ordered.  I might even be able to get some of that cost reimbursed.

I cannot believe I never mentioned Megan's ordeal in July!  She broke her foot in 3 spots on July 2nd.  I really and truly thought it was just bruised, and never took her for xrays until July 4th.  Bad, bad mommy!  Well, we saw an orthopedist a few days after the xrays, and he offered her a choice of a cast for 4 weeks or a cam walker (boot) for 4 weeks with the option of removing it for swimming in 2 weeks.  She of course opted for the boot, and was very good about keeping it on when she was supposed to.  She healed well, and will have one more set of xrays (I think) next week.  She walked funny for a couple of weeks after getting the boot off - like she was still wearing it - but now she is mostly walking normally.  

The kitchen project continues to move along, albeit slowly.  The wiring rough-in is done, insulation has been put up, and the plumber was here the other day to move/rough-in plumbing for the new location of the sink.  My old sink got moved over to the spot where the new sink will end up so I can still do dishes with ease.  Cooking is not so easy, and will only get worse as the weather gets colder so I hope we can move the project along soon.  It's ready for drywall so hopefully that gets started soon.

We're heading off to camp for the weekend, sort of a last hurrah and farewell to summer.  Tuesday is the first day of school so I will bring the girls home early Monday to allow enough time to do some laundry and generally get them prepared for the first day of school.  I can't believe Megan is off to Middle School this year.  She had a "transition camp" for 2 days at the school last week and is very excited about going there.  Hannah will still be in elementary school for this year and next, and I hope this will be a time when she grows in experience and confidence.  Since she will no longer have her sister in the same school it will be a new and exciting time for her.

My babies are growing up!